Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
Today, after almost a year of having threesomes with my “best friend” and her husband, they both confessed that neither of them actually even like me. They just went along with it because they thought it’s what the other wanted. Now they won’t even talk to me. FML
Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML
Today, my new girlfriend introduced me to her bisexual best friend. I can’t help but find it weird that he helped her fake tan, completely naked, or the time he helped her wax her muff, also completely naked, while she waxed his balls and ass crack. This might be too weird for me to tolerate. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML
Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML
Today, I went a double date with my coworker, his girlfriend, and her friend. After some drinks, her best friend stopped including me in conversations. We got back to my place and she was trying to fuck both of them, and ignored me all night. This is the third girl this happened with. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Vesi 29
FWIW.. OP didn't say *physically* repulsive.. just repulsive. A person can be the most beautiful on earth and still be absolutely repulsive in behaviour and mannerisms.
angus 17
She’s probably trying to do her friend a favour… and she expects you to take one for the team. You don’t have to say yes
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
copalolita 16
You’re a misogynist pig. You only wanna bang her if she fits your unrealistic beauty standards? **** you. You’re probably no prize yourself and you have the audacity to be a choosy douchebag.
Vesi 29
FWIW.. OP didn't say *physically* repulsive.. just repulsive. A person can be the most beautiful on earth and still be absolutely repulsive in behaviour and mannerisms.
FluffythePink 23
A point that the person you are replying to might wish to contemplate rather than just reactively savaging anything that gets their knickers in a twist.
SAgirl 21
Holy cow, you took that really personally and yes, people are allowed to be choosy. It's called standards. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean everyone wants to bang her.
eellik 11
Don't bother, that's a troll. Look at the other ragebait nonsense that account has written.
jlc82 14
spot on Vesi...it's usually the most physically gorgeous people who are the most repulsive
Petit Etre Malfaisant 23
He is a misogynist pig just because he finds a women not attractive? So YOU would have sex with anyone? Even if he/she is physically repulsive or is an absolute AH?
angus 17
She’s probably trying to do her friend a favour… and she expects you to take one for the team. You don’t have to say yes