Sex and Intimacy: Technique - FML

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 4 287

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Same thing different taste

Sexy times

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 339

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 408

You deserved it 3 242

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 509

You deserved it 6 685

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 743

You deserved it 6 483

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 065

You deserved it 3 843

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 331

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 966

You deserved it 4 438

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 7 022

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 232

You deserved it 308

By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 4 138

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

Comments

SadinSherman 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:25

That's is so creepy.

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:26

break up with the one pump chump every girl should get at least 10 min of pounding unless it's a quicky lol

GoColts8718 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:28

Well Minnie Mouse is pretty hot

josh55 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:36

maybe but he still shouldn't be a little one pump chump

dreamering 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

He could have been horror movie fan. Halloween is coming

duboss_fml 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:46

just hit me up when ur single haha but yeah this is funny

kportal69 5

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:47

time to find a new bf

BeNKiN 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:04

YTD for dating a 5 year old

Michael123087 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:11

they have lotions for this kinda thing. lol

MJFG100 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:13

are u dating a child?

docscientist 9

Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:43

Children can't ejaculate.

salic77 11

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:11

yes, yes some can. at 6 I got erections and at 8 was mah first ejaculation. (was a disturbed child leave me be.)

BonJovi821 3

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:18

You realize that males start having erections in the mother's womb, right? There's no set age for them to start...

Bonzer 2

Tuesday 17 July 2012 4:28

56- I can

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Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Mother in law Miscellaneous AITA Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 62

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 65

The Top

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 2 345

Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 093

You deserved it 549

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 165

You deserved it 3 740

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 555

You deserved it 2 882

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 3 123

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 9 492