Sex and Intimacy: Technique - FML

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 4 287

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Same thing different taste

Sexy times

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 339

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 408

You deserved it 3 242

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 509

You deserved it 6 685

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 743

You deserved it 6 483

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 07:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 065

You deserved it 3 843

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 331

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 966

You deserved it 4 438

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 7 022

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 232

You deserved it 308

By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 4 138

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"

MissErikaHart 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:50

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"

Comments

Tripitaka 21

Thursday 15 January 2015 18:16

Sex is important part of the relationship. If you are unhappy, leave him. And remember- any reason is good enough to break up.

Brightblue2 14

Thursday 28 May 2015 0:47

I feel sorry for you OP. I hope it gets better.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Students Relatable Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 4 876

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 1 153

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 813

You deserved it 2 854

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 2 553

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 965

You deserved it 2 553

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 321

You deserved it 6 798