Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
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Top comments
AustinDenton 22
Haha!! Sorry but that is funny. I bet the giraffe was just as disappointed as you.
DerrickJames 33
This is how we get those crazy hazard signs. This one will read: No orange barrettes next to the giraffes. No one will know why either.
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Comments (79)
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe it was a raspberry beret.
Enslaved 38
"The kind you find in a second hand store"?(:
sonnyrosa 32
You deserve more + for your comment :)
Vertetbrun 11
Omnomnomnom.
kate1805 11
Tragically hilarious ! However, I can almost sympathize. A similar situation occured with me, involving a goat and a mini skirt !
RedPillSucks 33
That's much more interesting. I'd like to read the FML for that...
blvcklvnd69 14
carot top
tranced_ 45
note to self: wear a hat in the zoo.
ViviMage 40
This happened to me once with a cow when I was really little. I slapped it as hard as I could as a kindergartener!
zsshamalama 11
at least you got to feed giraffes.
gingher_fml 9
Try having red hair. You're lucky the giraffe didn't eat your head.
khodginssxo 14
as a women who loves her hair that would be awwwwful. Stock up on hats op!
Ozzien 26
Carrot be too careful around those giraffes.