Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, I realized my cat responds to and interacts with me when I talk to her more than my own parents do when I talk to them. Actually, that statement applies to pretty much everyone I know. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML
Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
You sound suspiciously like me.
columbia20 8
Doesn't matter got tan.
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Comments (127)
EyeCeYu 7
Ouch. But hey, cats make cool friends!
meihua 19
Lol comment 1 (;
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Hm... In someway I find this... To be a completely normal thing for our society nowadays.
sarahannnn 0
Is this Emily? Haha
iDaniel525 8
No, this is dog.
micahsmommy 13
Perhaps it's time to make some real, live, human friends?
Cheesecakee 11
Ha your mom played you. That is actually really funny.
smilefaces8 2
Your mother hates you she plots to TAKE CARE OF YOU
gonad_gobbler 1
Your friends are video games and cats? You gotta be kittin me!
br0ccoli 15
I see what you did there!
KVKdragon 26
Eh, I wouldn't be fazed by her comment. That just gives you more of reason to be thankful that only you get to choose her retirement home >:) Unless you have siblings anyways :P
jnallison 0
Sounds like me! I have no friend right now