Intimacy: Sucker

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 641

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 892

You deserved it 5 197

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 55 813

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 2 942

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 233

You deserved it 8 728

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 405

You deserved it 1 288

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 6 798

Drunken rampage

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 71 748

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 853

You deserved it 8 409

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 214

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 508

jsprackman 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Genius

BunnySlippers 6

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Lol. Why would you put a vaccum even CLOSE to your balls?

Comments

picturescrazy 24

Saturday 3 March 2012 20:05

You should shave in the bathroom over the toilet, genius (: Then shower afterward to get all the hair off!

KandieCandy 4

Sunday 4 March 2012 2:37

Dumbass

chels1994 11

Sunday 4 March 2012 14:42

You know, you could just shower to get those off. You don't have to, but I figured you might want to consider this if there's a next time

BaconBoy75 2

Sunday 4 March 2012 15:31

This is why you shave your balls in the shower using conditioner as shaving gel. Smoothest shave ever. Trust me, buddy.

omgurkidding27 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 19:04

Do you use this same method when shaving your face?

victoria216 3

Sunday 4 March 2012 23:08

You should have know a vacuum sucks things so it was destine to suck your balls too. Just like girls do!

Makadog 0

Monday 5 March 2012 7:33

Umm, Penis pump?

TriztenJ 0

Monday 5 March 2012 22:33

Talk about a ********!!!

FweakofCydonia 40

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:43

Why did you shave over the carpet??

commonusername 4

Wednesday 7 March 2012 3:27

Well that sucks.

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 857

You deserved it 6 042

The Top

Today, I was cleaning a tall window on a stepping stool. All of a sudden, the stool gave way under me, sending me plummeting to the ground. My husband muttered, “Maybe if you laid off the Krispy Kremes this wouldn’t have happened!” laughed and left. My 16 year-old daughter had to drive me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 171

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 636

You deserved it 7 022

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 136

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 702

You deserved it 8 533

Today, after telling my husband how excited I am to be going on a family trip without nieces/nephews because it meant our children will finally bond with each other, his mother took it upon herself to invite our nephew on our trip without asking us. I’m mad at her and my husband is mad at me for being mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 135

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 626

You deserved it 3 040