Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Stimulating - FML

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 588

You deserved it 8 886

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Same thing different taste

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Spicy

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 606

You deserved it 4 705

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Spicy

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 796

You deserved it 58 904

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 551

You deserved it 620

By Bluetooth Connection - 01/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 4 459

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 276

You deserved it 5 769

By jakeeey - 18/01/2013 01:16 - Canada - Brampton

Spicy

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 174

You deserved it 10 920

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 823

You deserved it 1 330

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Spicy

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 914

By i fuckin love habaneros - 22/07/2016 19:19 - United States - Charlottesville

Spicy

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 833

You deserved it 2 387

Next

Top comments

kings1fan 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 12:03

Imagine how she feels when she fills her gas tank up!

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 13 March 2012 11:56

Tip from your Auntie* Rattie - buy a vibrator and some lube. You can get them online if you feel embarressed going into a shop. *Auntie being metaphorical in this case, not indicative of actual relation.

Comments

ZippandButtons 7

Wednesday 14 March 2012 20:56

I'd really like to know what a car is doing in the kitchen. Using the engine to make smoothies, maybe?

ronski 41

Wednesday 14 March 2012 23:40

New take on cyber sex

Rasetsu 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 7:08

That is insanely weird. Ever heard of a vibrator?

irishboy352 0

Friday 16 March 2012 21:00

Dafuq is dis?

BlAzEtHiS 0

Saturday 17 March 2012 4:12

You are just a pathetic excuse of a human being that plugging in your headphones gets you aroused. You wouldn't know where to begin with an actual partner. Also, I'm a virgin.

savagee133 13

Monday 19 March 2012 7:03

Doesn't everyone get turned on by this? oh guess not..

dremano1 1

Monday 19 March 2012 11:19

i live in texas sup girl

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 18 October 2016 23:40

If you are looking to get laid try tinder

TheMystery13 13

Friday 6 April 2012 23:10

Drop me a line, we'll take care of this little problem.

adsaghffgh 4

Saturday 26 October 2013 23:03

Oh my god what did I just read!!?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 18 October 2016 23:43

Masturbation is healthy thing to do...and you have many options being female...

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Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Embarrassing Ironic Animals Bikes Transportation Ecology Health AITA Work Drunk Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook Mysterious Weird Vacation Gamers Video games Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids

The Top

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 208

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 2 958

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 880

You deserved it 3 737

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 121

You deserved it 4 886

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 3 974

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 5 801

Today, I walked in on my roommate with his pants down at his ankles, taking a picture of his poop. This would've been less disgusting if we'd been in the bathroom, not the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 120