Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
imdeborah 0
Alright then, 51. What about an iHome?
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed unless the baby has colic. If you have a colicky baby, FYL and my deepest sympathies. If the baby likes the vaccuum, it will probably like other white noises. Try a white noise machine or static on the television. If nothing else works, keep in mind that we are genetically wired to find baby cries annoying. Sort of makes a vaccuum enjoyable in comparison.
snoogs 0
so you're using the noisy card to get out of cleaning AND baby duties...that's messed up
Compass 0
Now the vacuum is the baby's sworn enemy as it creates a louder noise, thus attracting more attention than the baby, nullifying its need to cry. It will attempt to destroy it.
gr3y_fml 1
If you don't like the sound of a crying baby you shouldn't have had a baby. Obviously.
Horney4her69 0
look at the bright side, you'll have the cleanest carpet on the block
Mahyar 2
fakest fml ever.
kate_mama 0
have a kid, then see if it's fake.
korn247 5
38 is just being a bitch. GO # 3!
seahorses4eva 4
56 - completely agree w/ everything you said.
SnowBlind33 0
YDI for refusing to take care of your kid.
lilerin 2
Um.. I think her turning on the vacuum so the baby doesn't cry IS taking care of her kid. You obviously don't have a child of your own.