Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
time4coffee 3
Take care of the baby
cajekraze 7
you're stupid op! and a terrible mother. there's something u aren't figuring out about your kid
theanonimouse 0
Wow... you call the baby you babysit "my baby"? Attachment issues, or were you just trying for a better FML entry?
snoogs 0
regardless of who's baby it is...what's up you're cute =P
sharpl916 0
get a silent vacumn or those miny robot cleaners.
jgilez 0
addendum = bad parent jokes are funny again
RaIeigh 0
Jaci, I hate you for not telling me you posted a FML beforehand so I could've been first :P.
Seantizzle 0
my parents did the same thing to me only they recorded it on tape. I don't think headphones would be good for the baby
superninja550 0
thats cuz its rly noisy in the woom an the vacum reminds the baby of it
l3allin_all_day 0
lol 2
stephen_lee 4
very nice! haha too bad its not our :p i claim it as our baby. jkjk
SpazzyFantastic 0
Or maybe you could take care of your child's needs instead of just complaining about a crying baby?
rohosoccer08 1
I didnt know u had a baby superhero?