Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
CallMeHush 1
Dare I say it? That SUCKS! ~rimshot~
FMLRevoluSean 0
#3 that's exactly what I was thinking!
adrifter 0
Duct tape.
FMLRevoluSean 0
If headphones are bad aren vacuums too? and get some little baby speeakers in their crib and turn it on low. then leave the room. wah lah! or voilà as some people seem to think.
BeeSkwaird 0
#50, wtf is a "casset"?
triggerit 5
change your baby... find better one..
Sickkid97 5
2 epic win lol jkjk wel then get the baby a muzzle lol jk again ummmmmm fyl inded
imaginaryvoice 18
Lo @l 2 and 3. My mom said I never cried when I was a baby :) I was a good girl back then. Idk what happened..
nuklear7 0
i'd try rolling baby on stomach playing music (experiment with different kinds.. for 2 months straight, my daughter would only sleep to the menu track of Dickie Roberts,... needless to say that movie is no longer allowed in this house) experiment more, this is a learning experience. enjoy it while you got it. and don't be ashamed to ask for help. you need sleep too. i always tell new mommies this, i don't know if this is your first or not. but congratulations and join Cafemom.com it might help you. you can keep a journal for yourself so that you can look back on your previous experiences, which is actually really enlightening and fun.
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol I was gonna say..