Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
kaylou42 0
Don't put iPod headphones in a baby's ears, it could damage their hearing. However, you could also buy a white noise machine to soothe your baby - it has a similar sound to a vacuum, and they both have a similar sound of the "swooshing" of a womb. On the bright side, if you pick the vacuum, you could have very clean floors.
smattoliver 0
I thought the same thing as 3 when I read this
1NYCHottie 0
that's what u signed up for when u opened your legs & decided to have a child! The vacuum thing will be temporary anyway .....
RawrBabe 0
Just go for the sound of the baby at least it falls alseep... well if your lucky
crumpynfang 0
if she was ur daughter, u wouldn't care, bitch
lilerin 2
You're an idiot 152.
beeCl 0
to mom---for most babies the sound of a vaccum cleaner actually sounds like the what a baby hears while in mommas tummy. Same thing goes for shhshing, some waterfall sounds and low constant static sounds. There are lots of cds with these different sounds specifically made for babies. Good luck!
FarSide 23
One word for you: Adoption.
Chibi_Mia_Chula 0
# 3 I s genius!! xD My cousin wouldn't stop crying unless I went and sat on the porch with her. :/
ctFIRE216 0
is your baby Mexican?? could explain why. give him a burrito, if he stops fussing... you have a baby Mexican.
crumpynfang 0
u so smart 2