Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
jhart97 4
Either 4 things are going on. Should be easy to figure out. You can always ask a doctor.. 1. Stanky ballz 2. Small weird looking wiener 3. Bumps-rash-crabs 4. Harry Jungle
SuperStormCindy 8
Being a CNA, I've seen uncircumcised penises. They're not freaky. They just have some extra skin. If that was the problem, she's pathetic. If it's smell, better wash up OP. Trimmed/Untrimmed, that's your choice.so no problems should come from that. And why haven't y'all talked about your situations? That's just weird.
iamthunder 4
If you have a canoe instead of a sail boat parked in your front yard you should always trim the grass around it, you can not see how big it is if it's surrounded by 2 feet of grass!
FemskyD 26
Oo gosh.. Im well curious how the following conversation went!!
Marzell 12
Now I kinda want to see it for myself....
Nish007 15
that mustve been awkward
sammyjo06 14
So was it gross or what? If it was bad hygiene, YDI. If it was just not trimmed or something, that's personal preference and usually up for discussion, so she shouldn't have just left like that...If it was size or something different about it (uncircumcised, etc.), again, FYL. Basically, the only way this could be your fault was if you don't wash well down there.
brandoneyez1 25
My guess is either it was the size of the pickle, or more likely she wants it clean cut and it's not. Sorry op
bentyr 7
That's what happens when your name is f*** you Odin.
CaBur 5
At least you know for sure that your junk is lemon fresh