Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
Randirae01 2
Maybe u should have washed your junk beforehand? No one wants to put a smelly wang in their mouth.
Stoner3110 9
Awww
The_H3fty_Man 4
first time I read through it I saw she took off your underwear and sucked on a lemon.. well sorry anyway OP. perhaps, scrub hard, chug pineapple juice, and trim. oh and probably take a rest on the junk food. ask any girl, I'm not wrong
askingandy 23
I assume it's not his size that's the problem. Partners typically do other things before sex...
mzharlot22 8
Ladies, you need to get over the fact that there are indeed men who aren't circumcised...and just because they aren't circumcised that doesn't make them "gross" it's not like they had a choice at birth. Be nice to penises, you wouldn't like it if men were hating on your vaginas!
kittcatt 8
First off men can get circumcised as adults or teens it is a lot more uncomfortable but it happens. I actually spent a good couple of weeks providing moral support to a guy who was getting circumcised because the foreskin was too tight and was causing him medical issues. Secondly there are multiple reasons for circumcision, it is easier to clean, can solve some medial problems or it may be the preference of the parents whether their choice is based off of aesthetics, religion or simply wanting the son to match the father. Third, men do rag on vaginal appearance making fun of or commenting color, scent, taste, or even the prominence of the labia and/or ********.
Fou_Lou 20
Circumcising Children should be illegal. Its child abuse.
ifunnybatman 8
#126 it is actually a requirement of some religions such as judaism for all the boys and men to be circumcised so making it illegal would go against peoples rights to practice freedom of religion and it isnt abuse its not like there molesting the baby there simple removing the foreskin (think of it as taking a little off the top except this haircut is permenant) plus circumcision is said to be more comfortable and create less medical issues for guys
r00nie 10
not much of a girlfriend, is she?
Thi3fstheme 9
Forgot to wash up down there that sweat stank. Gotta stay clean
PiQo 6
Maybe you need to wash your shit better...nobody likes going down on some funk!
NineeCat 32
Hopefully this isn't a "needle in the haystack", type of situation.
tuffykat 8
didnt you wash and rinse!?