Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
swagaliousness 7
ohhh that's just cold!!!! wow how mean she just up and leaves u lol
megADon 0
How old are u? ur gal mite be sixteen
efarley 5
the facial expression you described (sucked on a lemon) doesn't add up if it was related to size or anything visual. taste and smell are closely related senses, which is why it looked like she tasted something sour, because she smelled something "sour" and subconsciously it triggers the same part of the brain, resulting in a very similar reaction. that said op, she was clearly reacting to the horrific wave of junk funk that hit her nose. maybe she could have been nicer about it, but you should have washed your junk before you expected to get laid which is equally rude, plus disgusting. I don't really blame her bud.
red_head79 1
How bout you clean that shit up man... Hygiene
darkfireflame 15
Yeah, you don't deserve her.
kat2943 20
Were you clean? My ex had bad hygiene, and I refused any sexual activity until he showered. Safe to say I definitely dumped him.
BenAfro 2
Have you ever heard of Blue Waffle, Google and check your sh*t out... Maybe you got it...
wangchang 2
you probably have a small one.
102fuckyoulane 7
Maybe your not as "huge" as she wanted you to be........ Anyway was a dick move on her part
not_so_funny_man 1
Dude. Gotta give us a follow-up. Was it her inexperience/surprise or your smell? Or ????