Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
The_only_Eric 4
Hey man it's alright. Sizes don't matter to SOME people.
EvilLittleMan 23
How funny. As I was reading this thread, the song Do You Love Me came on. Guess not. Sorry OP.
Butwhymeagain 12
1 word _>
Trukamouche_fml 18
That's not a word.
rockhead1270 5
Is your little friend circumcised? Lol. That sux
magickitten 26
Wow...there must be something bad going on down there for her to (over)react like that. Have a wash, a trim and find yourself another girlfriend!
SJean88 7
I'm sorry, some people have no manners. Don't worry, some girls love men and their penises in all forms. That's who you want, an enthusiastic, loving and understanding partner. I'm sorry if you have feelings for her, maybe you can work things out.
BMTHsuperfan 18
does odin happen to be the pet name you gave your penis?
JoshuahColins 19
Did... Did you touch the butt?
underthesea12 24
Try washing your junk!
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Try some hygiene, buddy. Wash yourself, clean the whole deal, nuts, taint, ass crack, clean the grease from your asshole and trim up the jungle. No one wants to go down on a sour sweaty mess. Do the deed after a shower, not a marathon.