Poopoo peepee and Work: Sniper - FML

Sniper

By kait - 29/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 982

You deserved it 2 340

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By notpayedenoughforthisshit - 21/07/2014 21:15 - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 712

You deserved it 3 433

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 104

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 2 634

By TzarErik - 06/08/2014 23:33 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 662

You deserved it 2 810

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 401

You deserved it 1 866

By I'm so wet, baby - 28/11/2014 17:27 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 780

You deserved it 7 625

Long drive home

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 04:01 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 380

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 3 205

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 068

You deserved it 129

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 2 816

Next

Top comments

elat4lolz 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 11:44

bet op was...pissed.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Tuesday 29 November 2011 12:44

That's literally the funniest mental image ever! Cleanup in aisle 6! ...and 7....and 8....and 9....

Comments

AJRENO 0

Friday 13 January 2012 9:16

**** those fatties.

babalooisbabaloo 5

Monday 13 August 2012 8:45

Walmart?

ItsJustMe1616 26

Monday 19 May 2014 9:21

I think a follow up from OP is pretty necessary for this FML lol and can anyone who voted YDI to this post please explain to me why?? Like it really baffles me the number of people who say YDI (1850 as of now) on FMLs such as this. What did OP do to deserve it? Lol

theFickleFinger 24

Monday 22 February 2016 21:16

It seems like every FML has about 2000 people click YDI. I think the vast majority are people just trying to get a badge. I think a small minority clicked YDI on this one because they feel like OP should get a different job if s/he doesn't like swabbing up piss.

Paws_Cat 29

Sunday 4 January 2015 17:34

Ah, Walmart.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Family Relatable Racism Love Kids AITA Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Psychology Mental health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 97

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 411

You deserved it 4 384

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 711

You deserved it 2 330

Today, I was squeezed through an overly-crowded hallway down to my psychologist's. There, I sat in an overly-crowded waiting room to see him, next to an obese woman and an insane man. I finally entered the smaller-than-a-closet room. My reason for seeing a psychologist? Claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 170

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 3 825

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 78

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 2 839