Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
fmlplzthks 0
if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...
ThorsSon 0
#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.
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Comments (89)
thimovw 4
Youshould divorce roght now
kitcatarat 2
There's no need for **** if ur married if she is giving u wht u want
EdwinG19 0
Why Dont U Just Make A **** Movie With Her?
Nave42 7
How did you not realize they weren't plugged in properly?
soldiat_fml 17
HER bedroom? Why is your wife coming out of HER bedroom?
tpm45 25
I've done that before... Luckily no one heard me...
lolalola47l 8
are you guys gonna get a divorce? seperate rooms?
SonyIsGod 13
I know this has already been said, but you really sleep in a separate bedroom from your wife? What the hell?
doglover100 28
Why do you sleep in separate rooms?
themetalstickman 19
You, sir, are a ****.