Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML
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Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML
Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML
Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
fmlplzthks 0
if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...
ThorsSon 0
#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.
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Comments (89)
Paksenarrion 24
It really all depends on the couple. I think the main part of this FML is indicating that he was either sneaking it in and/or they have some type of agreement over it. If it upset her then obviously something we are not aware of is going on. He was doing it behind her back and for whatever reason, unknown to us, it caused an issue. For those saying it could very well be the OP's wife's fault for his "habit", bullshit. They are a couple. If there is an issue it is called communication. If that doesn't work out then they need to figure out their next step, which could include counseling, separation or divorce.
fantasyworld 37
You sleep in separate rooms?
jayden0501 4
For all the comments, has anyone thought that mabye it was a typo and it was "our" bedroom? And he didn't say anything about a laptop so it was probably in another room.
pl0xs3rver 45
Just gonna throw out a suggestion for why they sleep in separate rooms: one of them snores too much and the other can't sleep with it. My boyfriend's parents do the same thing.
reader5567 19
If you're married, just have real sex.
tin_cup 27
I agree!
tikatica 17
"Her" bedroom?
tin_cup 27
Yikes!
KrazyKatz333 15
Why are you so embarrassed? You're married right?
lucasjames22 8
first of all separate bedrooms?? and how could you not tell headphones not plugged in. wouldn't you notice no sound directly in your ears?