Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
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Top comments
Hawk42 16
It's been 4 years.
patrickeli 15
They're clearly not thinking about you at all... Why think so much about them?
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Comments (84)
Hawk42 16
Hawkward
thatguynamedsky 32
how long have you been waiting to make this joke?
mif_fml 27
Holy shit it's a hawk!
Hawk42 16
It's been 4 years.
tony1891 22
call for mike hawk! there. i finally got that out of my system.
rbubbles 20
I love it when people use the hand dryers so it blocks out any sounds you might be making
wasliedtoasakid 22
@19 Bet that's how long Op had to wait to take a dump...
tonyfan00 38
That has to suck......
persianjr 15
I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for things like this. Like I'm not trying to be heartless but being poop-shy in a bathroom is kind of ridiculous
flee2321 10
Especially at a place like school. It's not like a bunch of strangers you'll never see again. And kids can be mean.
thecuriouskat 20
Hopefully you eventually got some relief, OP!
BlackStar288 10
Incoming terrible poop puns
patrickeli 15
They're clearly not thinking about you at all... Why think so much about them?
beyondflight 16
Ya that's one of many reasons public bathrooms suck. Sorry about that OP
trellz17 19
Christ, I'm the same way. That's why I always go to the bathroom no one hardly uses when I'm at work.
mif_fml 27
Personally I let it all out, but I won't exit the stall until no one is in there...
hamrtym 15
I think you missed a "L" in your name.
foxwasalamb 24
funny how mif is commenting about toilet probs and her profile is talking about toilets as well.
myveryownname 6
I'm dying lmao those comments though lol
nash1991 20
I hate when that happens to me :/
StellaNox 16
Know the feeling! Feel bad for u, bro! FYL