Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
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Top comments
cman85 1
so to start to change, the first thing you do is post it on a website...?
SvDxHaZe 0
So your a fat, ugly virgin who sits behind his computer all day?
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Comments (97)
WhiteDelight 4
just rape someone to fix the virginity problem
Mvibes 0
Oh yeah, not like that will create any NEW problems.
ejvlols 0
#14, im pretty sure he was joking. although... it WOULD solve the virginity problem
Sawadee 0
AGREE!!
aback 4
So now she thinks you're trying to confess?
hockey_chick 0
Get a makeover. And then change your name maybe, haha playing around. Just get a life
Today_i_died_fml 0
Liposuction gets you rid of your BIT of extra fat
Caayouteepie 0
haha fat ugly virgin lol.
Vasir 2
Lay off the dougnuts/pie/cake/ice cream.
Schumy0724 4
I don't get it. Are you the stalker?
Victoria_fml 0
No, but he was trying to describe it and realized he had all the flaws he was enumerating.
barlessprison 16
The next thing you should do is to go out and find a girl, not post this on FML. That will solve some of your problems.
Everlost 0
basically describing most users of fml ^^ jkid.... or am I?
darkmis1 17
If you're so unhappy, why did you come on the computer? That's just gonna make it worse.