By onyinye - 19/11/2015 13:09 - Germany - Neum?nster
onyinye tells us more.
hey guys, OP here. We have been together for several years now and we've been through a lot. I'd say we have grown together and our relationship is great in general. However, a lot of bad stuff has happened in the past (I got raped and he kinda blames himself for not being there for me and protecting me at that time, which he couldn't, because he got falsely accused of dealing drugs and was behind bars for a couple of months until they let him go). About the marrying stuff, we are still engaged and want to get married in the future, but considering the circumstances we have decided to wait for things to settle before actually setting a date and going through with it. I think the reason why he got angry is that he usually sees himself as "the strong man" and the protector and while he is comfortable talking to me alone, he felt really uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of a stranger.
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Sounds tough OP. Maybe it's those difficult circumstances? Hopefully he cheers up. I don't think it's your fault.
If he's not willing to make it work by using a common remedy, either find a way to talk through things yourself, or reevaluate your decision to marry him
I think it is a little bit premature to jump to divorce... Not everyone is comfortable with therapy the first time they go. Anyways they are facing "difficult circumstances" which is really the true test of commitment and marriage, obviously things won't always be great
The first step of acceptance is denial. Things will get better OP.
#39 I'm pretty sure I grieved hard and went through those five steps when I got dumped from out of nowhere, evicted, was homeless, and then had to move 1,000 miles away to live with family. I talked to a therapist while grieving the loss of everything I'd worked for. And there were no illnesses.
If hes not willing to go to therapy for you i dont think he will like going through marriage?