By onyinye - Germany - Neum?nster
Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML
onyinye tells us more :
hey guys, OP here. We have been together for several years now and we've been through a lot. I'd say we have grown together and our relationship is great in general. However, a lot of bad stuff has happened in the past (I got raped and he kinda blames himself for not being there for me and protecting me at that time, which he couldn't, because he got falsely accused of dealing drugs and was behind bars for a couple of months until they let him go). About the marrying stuff, we are still engaged and want to get married in the future, but considering the circumstances we have decided to wait for things to settle before actually setting a date and going through with it. I think the reason why he got angry is that he usually sees himself as "the strong man" and the protector and while he is comfortable talking to me alone, he felt really uncomfortable being vulnerable in front of a stranger.
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I think it is a little bit premature to jump to divorce... Not everyone is comfortable with therapy the first time they go. Anyways they are facing "difficult circumstances" which is really the true test of commitment and marriage, obviously things won't always be great

  Kiernan151  |  25

23, they're not married yet so they can't divorce, and 3 was saying that if he wont work through problems with her(?) then she might want to re-think marriage because he'll still not want to work through their problems (probably).

  Emirac  |  10

#39 I'm pretty sure I grieved hard and went through those five steps when I got dumped from out of nowhere, evicted, was homeless, and then had to move 1,000 miles away to live with family. I talked to a therapist while grieving the loss of everything I'd worked for. And there were no illnesses.

  Weirddate  |  11

#46, I'm sorry to hear you went through all that. I must say you deserve a lot of praise for bouncing back from those circumstances. I'm sure you've heard it before, but probably not from a total stranger. I'm proud of you.


I also lived those 5 stages when I learned that I had 4 more weeks to wait to receive money from my scholarship, when I already had waited 8 weeks.
French administration is the worst thing ever...

By  mollybelle  |  13

At least you're making an effort to go to therapy. That's very thoughtful. Maybe he just doesn't want you to go to anyone because he feels embarrassed about the situation right now. Hang in there, it'll get better.