Intimacy: Saucy

Saucy

By weeble_wobbles09 - 08/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 467

You deserved it 25 954

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Same thing different taste

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 409

You deserved it 15 248

By Ace - 01/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 882

You deserved it 1 813

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 386

You deserved it 1 531

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 8 838

By Username - 03/02/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 3 754

By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - 31/01/2012 02:50 - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 946

You deserved it 8 897

Good for you

By denied - 11/08/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 171

You deserved it 8 889

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 979

You deserved it 57 488

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 427

You deserved it 32 010

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 17 929

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:50

ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.

spank_u_veryhard 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:35

maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...

Comments

fairies633 8

Saturday 9 January 2010 7:21

um...and u were sending this to your friend why ?

Hatemylife9891 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 0:24

lol I hate being a dick but quite literally you shouldnt have been talkin shit ROFL

MissOriginal 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 8:08

Why would u even send that to a friend????

pvilleallstar 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 10:54

you coulda said your dumbass friend randomly started txting people.

Leanerr 0

Monday 11 January 2010 4:14

hahahahahah! that kinda made my day but your rotted. looks like he won't be textin your for a while.

rberry_fml 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 8:18

WTF who the hell tells their mate that? that's just plain embarrassing

elizanena9 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 9:23

smooth. i bet he just loved hearing that.

xbarbiextwinsx 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 6:48

ahah. i can relate. 'cept the text said, "you're waaay hotter than my boyfriend. trust me."

IndigoFuckYou 9

Tuesday 22 November 2011 7:32

Way to sound like a ****.

bryttanicutter 2

Friday 29 January 2010 13:24

lmao

Anemited 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:16

HAHAHAHAHA i bet his face looking like this ಠ_ಠ'

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 073

You deserved it 1 655

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 631

You deserved it 16 069

Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 341

You deserved it 8 956

Today, my brother threw his Switch across the room and broke it. Our parents decided that, "Video games are bad!" and took away my Switch, as well as my gaming PC that I built and paid for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 79

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 957

You deserved it 2 208

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute after I got into the front seat of an elderly man's car. The man was my grandfather, and he was taking me to a doctor's appointment, since I wasn't going to be allowed to drive home after it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 964

You deserved it 2 164