Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
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Top comments
SP63_fml 0
It's a good thing your wrist didn't break, because that's all the action you're going to be getting for a LONG time.
CFR 0
Not really cute, no... so how pissed is she?
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Comments (82)
itdepends 0
that should teach you not to copy movies :|
katesaba1022 0
**** her life not urs
mrlopez 13
You are a house hazard to others...
uKNOuLOVEit 0
Fat@$$ :)
brittaussi 0
It sounds cute...too bad it didnt work ;(
fml_mu 10
LOL trying to be a superman? Just be yourself, your girlfriend will love you as you are, no need to make much effort trying to be what u are not!!! :P
monkeyhead641 6
Fatties shouldn't do that
LadyGore 12
Personally, that's actually really funny and a good story to tell.
andthepennydrops 6
awww :( would've been cute if u had practiced your couch jumping ninja skills
Karlsmarx2 9
I've fallen 8 feet in my garage on my back on concrete didn't break a bone she must be fragile