Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML
Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
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Top comments
bob1124 0
Maybe they're endangered because they're too dumb to move?
Mnemic 6
Take its DNA and clone the hell out of the poor bastard. ;)
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Comments (158)
00754chan 0
When I first read this, I honestly thought "they're frogs - no one cares", but with 50-something comments, apparently people do.
som_fml 0
well there's a reason why some animals are endangered.
sonik42 0
It's an FYL and YDI. Brilliant!
vanaathiel 13
Lol no wonder they're endangered, if they don't move when something's about to step on them! Hahaha FYL
slutmuffin 0
More like **** the ugly thing's life.
stephyvengeancex 0
FYL.
darkmis1 18
59-that "ugly thing" is called a frog. OP: no wonder they're endangered! Nobody pays attention to their safety!
LesYeuxDeDario 0
Or maybe he is just a poor looser who barely made it trough the career ? Theres always this possibility
Countryboy11 0
I agree with No. 14 no way you would call yourself a "Frog Biologist"
Hylachrysoscelis 0
I work in an animal communications lab that studies frogs, and essentially all of us refer to ourselves as "frog biologists." There's one guy who uses "herpetologist," but he loves the reptiles and other amphibians. The rest of us are just frog geeks. I presume other people are the same way. Thus: frog biologist is perfectly valid. Or perhaps OP figured (probably correctly) that the general populace reading FML wouldn't have any idea what a herpetologist is?
littlemisslee 0
shame on you!