Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
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Top comments
Not_Impressed13 9
"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"
95DeVille 13
He just appreciates your assets.
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Comments (136)
chrisstachon 30
must have a nice ass lol
Smoothiemuch 8
That's a great massage!
lucy7368 2
You posted almost 12 hours ago, so... do you still have a boyfriend?
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
I don't get why guys do that so much. It actually kinda hurts
aaburns 5
Ohhhh my. I know when I lay on my stomach it's a damn hand magnet. My guy does that alllll the damn time!
molliciousj 19
I think it's flattering, honestly. Take it as a compliment that your boyfriend likes to touch your butt. I think it's pretty sweet and playful for him to make light/fun out of the situation like that.
garebear61 14
With a name like "booty backfire" I was expecting a much different scenario for this Fml.
juliawolak 8
This is the opposite of a problem OP
ishchandan 14
So did he slap that ass or did he grab on?
worldclassrager 41
Looks like you are better of icing yourself...