Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Not_Impressed13 9
"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"
95DeVille 13
He just appreciates your assets.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
ELoni_fml 25
Glue some pushpins to them, I dare you ^^
Nat52482 25
I would be entertained by that XD that is...if I had a boyfriend....
dudeperfect101 6
Sounds good
cook4money 9
That would piss me off. Back pain sucks and the last thing you want is someone messing with you when you are in pain. I don't think its funny at all. Sorry OP, I hope you feel better soon.
sanecatlady 13
You boy "friend" sounds like a real pain in the...
kissmeImawkward 17
my heart is beating like a jungle druuum..rucutum tum turum tum tum! :D
itsjusttofunny 8
assman
vikky538 29
ooch that hurts..both your back and your ass too...
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Music speaks where words do not. He's saying he's ready for a booty call.
dispwned 8
Every time he goes to walk by after, go for a nut shot.