Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML
Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
That's when you sarcastically respond "Why wait? Let's just share the coffin with him, you piece of shit." And get up to go sit with a grieving family member.
WrongRomance 11
That's awfully insensitive. Why do either of you have your phones out at a funeral? Comfort some of your family, or get comforted if you're that upset.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
RayearthNinja 10
I wouldn't dump him, but I withhold sex for long, it would feel like it.
klorehore 24
Hopefully that made you realize he shouldn't be your boyfriend any more. Such a lack of empathy is unbelievable, he seems to only care about himself and his needs.
KittahMonster 20
I'm so sick of reading comments that say "at least"....(insert something ignorant here). Well your husband may be beating you daily...but hey let's look on the bright side at least you have a husband ^.^ :D!!!!!! (yeah thats real smart) She might have cheated on you and kicked your balls repeatedly.. but hey at least you still have them!!! :D (I sure as hell don't feel like I have any now so that's a real help) Sometimes looking at a glass as half full is good!! :D!!! Sometimes, it's bad!....... :( ...And completely stupid, ignorant, unnecessary, and unhelpful,...and Oh so very.....overly.....done. -.- So if your going to do it "Please" do it right! :D ^.^
zandalee 20
...sounds like its way past your bedtime!
KittahMonster 20
Haha it always is when I read FML's. ^.^
zandalee 20
Me too. I'm typing this with one eye open.;)
WrongRomance 11
That is a really strange rant to have. Though the faces you use make it seem sort of happy.
KittahMonster 20
Yeah, it is always best to say these kinds of things in a slightly upbeat way :).
buddy51 23
Somebody needs their blanky and their anger management meds!!!!
zandalee 20
I've heard that its incredibly common to get really horny at funerals. Something to do with wanting to celebrate being alive... But to call it a family get together was pretty stupid, insensitive and immature.
rosesong2494 3
Where the **** did you hear something like that??
SillyGirl4602 23
Not once have I ever felt like having sex during/after a funeral. I don't know anyone who has.
Raesin 21
Behold the consequences of movies that have characters focused around crashing funerals in the hopes of getting laid.
perdix 31
He does deserve a reward for supporting you in your darkest hour, but he's claiming his prize prematurely. Is that a theme with him?
Tones217 9
How is asking for sex in the middle of a funeral supporting her? Just because he's there doesn't mean he's supporting her, it just means he's at a funeral...and apparently acting like a douche.
EpicSquishii 21
Joke..... It was a joke -_-
klutz44 28
It was a premature ejaculation joke.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Pretty sure your grandpa would be disappointed if you didn't at least give him some mouth sex.
EpicSquishii 21
Dicks generally aren't supposed to contain hearts, love. Those are usually in the chest cavity
ColbyGB 13
Your boyfriends a dick
Zebediabolical 45
*boyfriend's
apathy_libra 6
Just say yeah, I know my grandpa is looking down on me.
Satoaoi 13
I hope you said no to his insensitive ass
rosesong2494 3
OP, I hope you texted him right back saying, "No, but you know what we can do when it's over?? Break up! :D In fact, why wait? It's over." Being the sensitive as well as passionate person that I am, I cannot possibly fathom why anyone would even consider asking that at a funeral. Granted, I don't know how close you two were, but even so, a death in the family is something that should mourned in a somber mood. His total and complete lack of empathy or even sympathy in this situation makes me think that you should run, run, RUN!