Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
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Top comments
truslide 0
LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?
uhmfml 0
I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.
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Comments (1184)
Noobsauce 0
Haha my gf did that to one of her dogs
em22584 0
Hahahahahaa best one I've read In forever awhhh I'm so sorry hahaa:D
xxmusicxloverxx 0
FYL? FHL. poor kid.
Heatherloves 0
Really sad, somehow funny if she's ok. Don't kick cats either weirdo!
Spudski 1
I'd so laugh if she died
neezy007 0
Who gives a shit if kicks his cats!!! You should be worried about the kid. What the he'll is wrong with you people!!! People>>>>>>>>>>animals
wulfyoukai 0
LOL You shouldn't be kicking cats like that in the first place, but still that's hilarious. Animals > people.
iwalyd 0
for crying out loud she was sleeping, she probably didn't mean to kick as hard as she did. hopefully the babe is alright. these people are so ******* rude!
staciieee_x3 0
even if you thought it was your cat.. why the f would you kick it!? comment 738. its not being rude. im sure its a type of animal cruelty.
lovergirl9008 0
i love all these comments that are so concerned for your CAT. big freaking deal, it's a cat. AND it wasn't even there. i'm assuming that your daughter's okay since you posted here...