Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
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Top comments
tyrob911 0
let's get this straight here. he texted her wanting to hook up. if you really understand that text, you'll know that the guy didn't care about pleasing her. all he wanted to do was nut and he did. he could care less how long it took him. his mission was accomplished.
summerloolooloo 0
I heard that there are new kinds of condoms which have some sort of a numbing cream on them. How about giving those a shot? HAHA.
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Comments (60)
jessica55 0
maybe if you had have walked to his house since its only a 5 minute drive away, then you wouldn't feel so bad about the sex being shorter than the travel. don't be lazy, and save the environment :)
ohherrohorry 0
bambi114 0
#26 lmao I have seen that before
kindness 0
that's bitchy. it's probably not his fault. how insensitive.
marierad 0
maybe he thinks your so hot he couldnt control himself or maybe he sucks....i would give him another try before you dissmiss him in bed. he was prob nervous.
vitaminA 0
lol pre-mature ejaculator... that sucks
AKING 3
can it be cured ?
kbridges08 0
what a ****.....
FMLbrittt 0
girl you have all of my sympathy. the kid I was in a relationship with ( we just broke up thank god ) only lasted for 3 minutes. commercials wouldn't even be over as he finished. it sucked. my tampon gave me more pleasure then he did. FML. find some one who can actually last. you will be sooo much happier lol
Meowinx 5
You drove after the guy?! That is pretty slutty...