Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
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Top comments
tyrob911 0
let's get this straight here. he texted her wanting to hook up. if you really understand that text, you'll know that the guy didn't care about pleasing her. all he wanted to do was nut and he did. he could care less how long it took him. his mission was accomplished.
summerloolooloo 0
I heard that there are new kinds of condoms which have some sort of a numbing cream on them. How about giving those a shot? HAHA.
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Comments (60)
Freeze_fml 17
YDI for having sex on day 1. Let's hook up.
makaylac 0
maybe if you didn't type so many commas and knew what a booty call was, you would find a man who's interested in pleasuring you.
perdix 31
He couldn't do it again? When I used to come too soon, I was always ready to go again and the second time would last plenty long enough for the woman to get some real lasting pleasure. If there were a third or, even fourth time, well, that was just for fun! ;)
sterl13 0
perdix I really am in love with you
yakturk43 0
YDI FOR BEING A DIRTY SLOREE
jillz 0
See there, OP. You should've just hooked up with perdix (or someone like him). He would've made that drive worthwhile. :p
ElMundio87 0
come back when your life is actually ******
kindness 0
agreed!
cr1mson_k1ss 14
what a fail...
Rota 0
Five minutes of driving around here is about 5 miles with the speed limits where they are. I sure as hell wouldn't want to walk that for five minutes of sex.
Sekococo 0
Stop lying OP, the term is "booty call" not "hook up". ;D Your job was done so get over it. And Wtf you driving for 5 minutes if you live close distance?
SubjectX 0
was there any foreplay? besides which if it was him getting out of a dry spell, he might have just not have had pussy in a long time. these are necessary details.