Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mr_Satan 11
Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.
dancinggirl900 17
Insect got your tongue?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
BellaBear90 27
Yet another advantage of wearing a helmet... No more unexpected snacks.
KingDead 18
He could've been wearing a helmet.. There're ones that don't cover your face and mouth..
Mr_Satan 11
There're.... I see no reason to say that's not a proper contraction, but it looks really f***ing strange.
Shade1982 21
@87 There are, they just aren't very safe... You might as well not wear one.
horneyhic 15
3/4 protects ur brain just as well doesn't protect ur face tho
Drifting 21
Snack before bed? Lol
olpally 33
I imagine you caught it in your mouth like Jim Carey from dumb and dumber. Lol.
Enslaved 38
That movie never showed Carey catching a bug in his mouth. He only said he wasn't hungry because he just ate a giant June bug earlier. Now peeing is a different story.(: (God I remember stupid shit like this all the time) Actually these past two FMLs are reminding me of YouTube JoeCartoon's of "SuperFly II" because it's about swallowing a bug and "Who's your Daddy"? (:
Fuhkyoo 17
he caught a bullet with his teeth in pet detective, that might be what youre thinking. probably seen that movie 300+ times since I was a kid
BubbleGrunge 18
Overboard, Goldie Hawn: "I just, ate a bug!"
mbuck87 19
He ate a tonne of bugs in Me, Myself and Irene too. Then he shot a prize cow 14 times; poor thing's lucky to be alive
olpally 33
Enslaved... You're my hero! :) lmao.
Accuraxy 10
It's always a good choice to start off the morning with a little protein!
thatnucca 36
How did it taste? Buggy?
Jharrist89 12
Ouch...
Aryn16 14
at least you won't go to bed hungry.??
RoboCunnilingus 23
There's a "motorbike/Buggy/insect" joke here, but it'll take a man more clever than me to get it.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Where's Pleo when you need him?!
fadingaway 17
Which is why you always wear a helmet with the visor down.
jopaggie12 4
I didn't know you liked taking in huge ones. Learn something new everyday. Haha