Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
twofirstnames 12
Great way to meet the parents...
SW500 13
Why would they do that while anyone but the family was over?
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Comments (90)
ImSoEffedUp 10
Wow... Gonna be really awkward when u FINALLY meet em...and sit down and talk with em....that's even if u can with a straight face.... Wouldn't wanna be in your shoes....
momo1972 3
Join them
MigraineurOfLife 15
This FML sounds like a tv show or movie part. Lol
MrRuffyboots 0
You couldn't hear them before you entered the room? I mean, sex doesn't tend to be very quiet.
syed121417 22
Have you had sex before? It most definitely can.
tuppencej777 0
What on earth makes you say that?
tdawg4200 0
Your girlfriend sucks.
perdix 31
Well, that would be a "silent treatment" I sure could get into! Unless she was Charley Chase -- that girl sucks so loudly!
Pilkipedia 8
Your tattoo sucks.
RodderstheLegend 5
Double Pen'?
studdmuffin1990 7
^ you're stupid
retej01 0
Ewwwwwwww feel so bad for you dude
Cheesecakee 11
Atleast it wasn't the other way around..