Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML
Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML
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Top comments
zp5 4
"hi how are you doing-whoa! i am so sorry-whoa! that was an accident-whoa!..."
SixteenAndSOL 0
LMAO. maybe he liked you. ;)
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Comments (116)
lovelyliz916 5
Lamo, I can't imagine anyone falling just for fun. xD
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
The last 12 YDIs was for fun =p
kateeeh 0
u should have taken him home!!!
kiwi00 0
I'm hoping when you say got off... you mean off the bus!! hahaha...
BrazilianRa1n 0
hahaha :,) I laughed so hard at this. Nd your a cutiee ;)
secrets15 0
u should have slapped him right there!! perv
like_its_ya_bday 0
lmao that's kinda funni. I don't find it an fml tho :)
ThePaperDragon 31
You don't find it to be an F.M.L.*
like_its_ya_bday 0
yes exactly. o.o
ThePaperDragon 31
yes, exactly.* Lol. I apologize because I know I get annoying with my corrections, it's just that writing and poetry are my niches in school, so I tend to key in on grammar mistakes and/or usage errors more than I should. Sorry! :)
LetsRollOut 2
If that's the case, I'm surprised you let "funni" get past you.
FFML_314 12
*FML
SanpakuEyes 18
I'm a writer and a poet and I'm not grammar obsessed. You should check out e.e. cummings. He'll probably drive you crazy!
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
my sister might have been on that bus...
gigilvrs6 0
BONUS!
Zmeilerr 22
He was trying to boink ;)
TheMasterOfPie 0
that's a badass drunk!