Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 908

You deserved it 6 488

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 141

You deserved it 1 980

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 531

You deserved it 2 369

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 197

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 197

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 2 810

Silver linings

By Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 81

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 168

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 100

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 4 691

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 159

You deserved it 42 338

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

nickerbockers3 0

Friday 23 July 2010 17:43

Man up will ya! 'secrete' is such a dirty word.. like 'moist' D:

XxMoonGirlAshomi 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:18

rofl!!!!!!!!! that's uber funny I can't even put it in to words!!!!!!! btw, how's ur ass? (I don't mean to be sarcastic)

deviable 9

Saturday 6 November 2010 2:32

HAHAHAHAHA

medic09 0

Monday 18 April 2011 11:43

Lol that sounds like what my brothere had done he bitched about the pad too it was big and nasty an right abouve his crack hahhaha sorry must suck

TheDarkCynder 2

Friday 29 April 2011 14:35

lol, but in all seriousness, now you know how women feel.

druisala 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 3:41

Glad I'm not alone in this pain! Just had one removed yesterday only I have to stuff gauze in the cut too!! :/

I_Ate_The_Cookie 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 22:39

He's a bog bout now xD

JstLikeFay10 6

Friday 16 September 2011 23:21

My Dad's name is Ian and he is from Ohio... I really hope this isn't my Dad o_O lol...

ContentDeletedll 0

Monday 26 December 2011 22:21

Sorry bro

mamaskool 0

Thursday 1 March 2012 19:24

BAHAHAHAHAHA LET ME KNOW HOW TTHAT WORKS OUT FOR YOU!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found a spider in my car the size of my hand. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 164

Today, I ran into a childhood friend for the first time in years. It turned out her mother died of COVID a few days ago. It was heartbreaking to see her close to tears all the time we talked, but due to distancing I couldn't even hug her to make her feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 166

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 4 087

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 250

You deserved it 4 259

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 742

Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 1 600