Family, Too much information and Miscellaneous: Oversharing is caring

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 2 861

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Same thing different taste

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 7 780

By octoberrain - 10/10/2011 23:16 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 934

You deserved it 3 241

No filter

By Judiee - 28/02/2009 10:52 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 880

You deserved it 5 767

By Some Girl - 08/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 4 963

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 3 358

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 7 914

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 247

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 5 930

By Closingwild - 21/07/2012 06:18 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 483

You deserved it 2 682

Llamassss 21

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:28

At least you know he won't be attracted to your sister.

hamncheeseinit 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:31

Wow she's such a potty mouth

Comments

livkapp 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 23:56

@ #5 that was pretty clever xD

sicnesses 6

Thursday 13 October 2011 0:48

Was she *puts on sunglasses* SHIT-FACED?????

Stylin_Since_97 10

Thursday 13 October 2011 0:57

Twins?

wegetrz 14

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:08

What an awesome sister, she seems dedicated.

thefattest 1

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:10

She's a liar. Girls don't poop, everyone knows that

theeNSP 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:11

Gross!!

Azrael9 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:12

you sure that your sister is 23 and not 2?

hobojo69 23

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:15

Hmmm, I'm not positive but... That is a little bit of to much info. Just sayin

ScarletBloom 14

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:21

That's a shitty issue.

WowUStupid 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:31

He better have offered to help... Otherwise dump his ass

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Family Kids Fight Love Students Relatable Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 68 067

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 6 916

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 755

You deserved it 2 824

Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 233

You deserved it 1 484

Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 117

You deserved it 4 573

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 284

You deserved it 75 103

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 300