Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
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Top comments
KK3137 31
So I guess you both came in the wrong place at the wrong time..
KuronoEru 26
I'm sorry that you have to avoid your dad for the rest of your life now..
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Comments (99)
amccaul1976 8
I am kinda disturbed that this was posted by a couple rather than a male or female. I hope that the male/female symbol on the end related to a different post and not the one about the dad.. could be Alabama I guess.
PurpleKicks 22
You'll never forget your first time =P lol
Bruno501 8
Pics or it didn't happen ;)
tamesenicole 27
Lock your stupid door!
imbedderdenu 23
lock your door. and as a parent. Welp our house our right.
brockizkool 3
Not your vinegar strokes! (The league reference)
bigcountry80128 8
Time to get your own place.
kimespinosa 13
This is the worst FML I have ever read. This is terrible ?
GodfriedGrobler 8
Locks for cocks!
kingrod 10
at least u didn't squirt at him