Miscellaneous: Not that there's anything wrong with that - FML

Not that there's anything wrong with that

By notgay - 21/06/2015 06:04 - United States - Cranford

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

agreeclassic 28 782

vote type 1 3 589

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What the frick?

By cuckoo - 22/08/2015 03:59 - United States - Mobile

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

agreeclassic 28 574

vote type 1 4 115

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

agreeclassic 1 813

vote type 1 205

By augiedd - 05/03/2014 02:46 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

agreeclassic 45 853

vote type 1 7 465

By 13a5ic H1p5t3r - 15/08/2016 03:58 - United States - Spencer

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

agreeclassic 17 585

vote type 1 1 914

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

agreeclassic 2 465

vote type 1 242

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

agreeclassic 46 401

vote type 1 5 495

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

agreeclassic 1 090

vote type 1 107

By teriyaki124 - 21/03/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

agreeclassic 65 559

vote type 1 17 899

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

agreeclassic 5 244

vote type 1 2 846

By Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. - 19/06/2014 21:05 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

agreeclassic 51 834

vote type 1 5 399

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TOP COMMENTS

drewTheMan 8

Monday 22 June 2015 0:11

I guess it's pretty clear your dad never studied with anyone

karacakal2 30

Monday 22 June 2015 0:19

That's a whole new level of dad joke

Comments

gingerlover01 24

Friday 29 January 2016 4:14

okay then Craig Tucker

gingerlover01 24

Wednesday 25 May 2016 15:24

you sound like Craig Tucker dude

ifuckuprandomly 28

Sunday 3 July 2016 12:07

Your dad is funny as ****!

harrypotterfan22 21

Thursday 25 August 2016 12:08

Hi John! How's Sherlock?

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Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

agreeclassic 26 226

vote type 1 55 468

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

agreeclassic 44 029

vote type 1 14 798

Today, my girlfriend left me. I have no clue what to do with the holiday we have booked or the ring I was going to propose to her with on Valentine's Day. FML

agreeclassic 8 182

vote type 1 650

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

agreeclassic 43 703

vote type 1 3 502

Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML

agreeclassic 89

vote type 1 736

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

agreeclassic 57 642

vote type 1 11 142