Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. Ten minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
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Top comments
GlitterValentina 12
That's just so rude. Even if you weren't his type, he didn't even have the courtesy to at least continue on with the date.
olpally 33
What a douche bag. Good riddance! You can do better than that asshole. Keep trying op!
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Comments (80)
cb1002630 11
What did you say that made him take up smoking on a first date, OP?
Hentai_fml 6
Hah that made me laugh, thanks.
RpiesSPIES 27
Maybe he went to a gas station to buy some cigarettes so he could look cool in your eyes for smoking... This is why people need to take honesty into perspective. I feel that telling someone politely how I'd really feel about how a date has been going. It would be a lot less hurtful than leaving them without then knowing, and sticking them with the bill at that.
ronin123958 7
That's a nice variant on the "going to buy cigarettes" classic - never to come back. Still, what an asshole!
perdix 31
It takes me about 15 hours to smoke a brisket, so you should wait another 14 hours and 50 minutes before you get suspicious. When he comes back with the smoked brisket, the wait will be so worth it!
niezen 4
That was almost funny!
NewYorkMexPR 14
U should of left when he said he was going for a smoke. Smokers are nasty
LeeRed 15
Haha maybe in that 10min he checked you out on fb and didn't like how your profile pic looks like. In case your wondering what I'm talking about, read the fml a few below.
SilverInGray 25
Dude, if you have to explain the joke...
djinnyf 12
******* classy.... Good for you, in a way!!
BrotherTheo 31
...And that's when I realized that I was the blind date...!
AlexBblah 10
That's pretty messed he could've just said he didn't want to stay any longer or something raided walking out
dvsguy 3
The date was a coward.
NeinKittenz 20
You mean an asshole?