Intimacy: Nice day for it

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 063

You deserved it 1 932

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 496

You deserved it 5 039

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 645

You deserved it 6 377

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 094

You deserved it 4 637

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 391

You deserved it 1 831

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 75 205

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 125

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 457

You deserved it 149 805

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 672

You deserved it 53 191

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 516

You deserved it 10 419

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

Comments

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 15 February 2016 12:42

Length or girth

Dale_shackleford 13

Monday 15 February 2016 15:45

Maybe he meant the homeless guy was more charming than him and therefore gets more sex.

coops456 14

Monday 15 February 2016 16:10

I think you read this wrong too #20

Mahtari 19

Monday 15 February 2016 16:28

Same

Cadillac_kid_15 27

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

Brain bleach

Ms_ValS 27

Tuesday 16 February 2016 2:18

What more were you expecting from him? Come on he's homeless for God's sake. He did what he could OP.

tintarroja 31

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

Better than nothing!

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

JZY1989 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:27

well at least it was something.

A07 48

Monday 15 February 2016 12:30

sound like a great end to valentines day

fsomelife 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:32

A master of suspense!!

fsomelife 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:35

Ah, dammit, you edited your comment

A07 48

Monday 15 February 2016 12:36

So next year it'll be two homeless guys?

pandemonium307 10

Monday 15 February 2016 12:37

You sad because his was bigger?

snarkytruth 37

Monday 15 February 2016 12:39

At least he didn't accidentally hit you with some Valentine souvenir as you walked past to remember him by.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 15 February 2016 12:40

How romantic

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 299

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

Today, I got written up with a final warning because I ''drink alcoholic beverages'' at work. I was drinking Root Beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 356

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 267

Today, and since his retirement, my husband's enthusiasm for life has declined, his love of beer and crisps has skyrocketed, and his interest in personal hygiene has plummeted. Add to that his wearing of old, worn clothes with holes in he almost completely looks like Onslow from 'Keeping Up Appearances.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 178

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 801

You deserved it 2 428

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 921

You deserved it 50 992

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 975

You deserved it 10 187

Nice day for it

Same thing different taste

Vanilla Ice

Oh, hai Mark!

Consider the offer

Free hugs

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