Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nooblper 21
You considered him a real catch and a potential soulmate... why, exactly? All based on looks?
PinkasaurusRex 25
Don't sweat it, OP. You'll find your real soulmate someday. You can just laugh this experience off later; it'll be a great story to tell.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
feeloona 18
Just get a dog. He will really love you :)
alialley 10
Seems like a keeper. Like, I'd totally do that on a date myself.
Rectov 10
Why did you think he might be your soulmate. "Oh he's not fat he's my soulmate"
lapcat 7
Was it Joey Tribbiani?
oldsaltydawg 12
can you please elaborate on "female smells"? because I'm here thinking of the worst possibilities
xer096 7
Yeah what made you think he was a catch/your souls mate
lucasjames22 8
I'm curious as to why you considered him such a catch...and potential soulmate. apparently you hardly know him. I'm guessing you wete basing it on looks and professio. obviously you're extremely shallow. ydi
alicelouise66 5
I'm curious. you thought he was a potential soul mate. what were you basing that on? obviously you hardly know him. ydi