Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML
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Top comments
nooblper 21
You considered him a real catch and a potential soulmate... why, exactly? All based on looks?
PinkasaurusRex 25
Don't sweat it, OP. You'll find your real soulmate someday. You can just laugh this experience off later; it'll be a great story to tell.
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Comments (60)
Bragi 12
And the problem here is...?
worldclassrager 39
Did he happen to be your gay roommate?
messymessiah 11
On what grounds did you think he's a possible soulmate? You clearly didn't know that much about him? Was it just his looks?
corky1992 33
I am curious about this too! Needs a follow up for sure.
PsychicBulwark 4
Am I the only one who thinks he sounds fun? And not a "fetishist" for liking female pheromones?
Eliiara 11
He sounds kind of annoying and weird to me.
DoomedGemini 37
I think it is considered a fetish to have a thing for natural musks. Not anything wrong with having a fetish. Most people, if not all, have at least one.
ImpracticalJoekr 9
He'd get a fork to the hand if he tried eating from my plate even once if I didn't offer, he wouldn't stand a chance trying for most of the plate. I'm curious though, if you didn't know he was that obnoxious how did soulmate even cross your mind?
leogachi 15
I came to leave this exact comment.
MagnusDeus 24
I'm noticing a trend with these FML's lately... Honestly, how many attractive/charming guys can be total psychos/douchebags?
TheFount 21
That's like asking how many chicks are fat. I'd act like a psycho too, if I got set up on Tinder and decided not to just walk out. Any "**** dating" I cause is a victory for men everywhere.
KrDizzy 16
Did he just discreetly and nicely say he likes the smell of gross/unwashed pussy? Well, I guess you would never have to be self-conscious around him, OP!
KrDizzy 16
Dude is definitely a panty-sniffer lol.
EnlightenedClown 19
And *how* did you consider this guy to be a 'potential soulmate' before even knowing what he'd be like on a date? If your answer is based on looks, then you deserve it. Try not to be too shallow next time(because hey, looks do attract, and we could be a little shallow every now and then) and lower your bar juuuust a teeny bit. You just can't have everything. C'est la vie. Good luck!
TheFount 21
You thought he was your soulmate because of how he looks? Guys like that don't settle for hos like you.