Sports and Fight: MMA FML

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

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Same thing different taste

The harder they come

By andre - 24/12/2021 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, after training for six months in martial arts, I was ready to stand up against my bully. When he approached me. I found out the hard way he’s been doing martial arts since he was six. I didn’t know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 414

Badass

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 12:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 949

You deserved it 4 936

Ultraviolence

By Noname - 05/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 189

You deserved it 4 175

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 028

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 22:29 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 075

You deserved it 5 722

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 358

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 22:22 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 873

You deserved it 2 645

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 7 628

By fthislyfe - 02/07/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 7 936

Unfortunate coincidences

By FBI1236 - 07/07/2019 20:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 226

whiskey'swino 15

Tuesday 8 January 2019 6:01

Fighting at work can get you fired. Running your mouth off and getting your ass whooped will get you laughed out the building. Which is worse? You ****** your own life here, more ways than one.

coolmike699 26

Tuesday 8 January 2019 6:44

Jocks and fights? Is this a workplace or a high school?

Comments

chessu 21

Tuesday 8 January 2019 12:49

Not only did you challenge someone to a fight, you did it so without even doing a basic background check on him. I mean - if he looks like a jock he's probably been working out for a while to look like that. 100% deserved it.

interesting33 36

Tuesday 8 January 2019 13:33

HR should have an anti bullying policy. You are adults now OP. You need to go through them.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 8 January 2019 15:48

So what are we gonna see next, you challenging him to a rematch, then a Rocky-esque montage of you training your ass off, and when that's over, you two duking it out to a very 80s soundtrack, and finally, his girlfriend or wife swoons over you and when she comes to, she leaves him for you, and you two live happily ever after while he falls into a state of depression, loses his current job, becomes an alcoholic, and works a new deadend job?

ojosRojos 28

Tuesday 8 January 2019 16:30

“I decided to challenge —“ YDI.

IrieStorm 9

Tuesday 8 January 2019 17:52

Work? Sounds more like a high school.

Sinshine 28

Wednesday 9 January 2019 0:51

You having taken classes (or started taking classes) makes this so much worse. You don't EVER use things like that outside of the ring. Any martial arts school will (and should) kick you out immediately when they hear about that.

Chen Zhibang 8

Wednesday 9 January 2019 1:54

You should have gone full anchor man with him

Takegami 22

Wednesday 9 January 2019 13:00

Should’ve countered.

badrussian79 10

Wednesday 9 January 2019 17:04

Dude I was with you till you said “Started MMA” then it’s YDI. First if he’s that much of douche bag unless you cripple him significantly he will escalate if you win. If you lose you will never live it down guessing you know this now. As much fun as permanently crippling him would be you WILL get sued and you WILL lose. You did pick the fight. Second and this is on your instructor. There is MMA and then there is street fighting. If your instructor did not drill this into you from day 1 then he’s doing it wrong. MMA is a SPORT street fighting is two or more animals trying to kill each other. MMA you joint lock an opponent till the other person submits. Street fight you break or dislocate the joint and move on. Third if you know enough to win you also know that avoiding the fight is a better choice. No matter how fit or trained you are one bad hit and you can be in a wheel chair ******** into a diaper. It takes a lot less than you think to break shit that don’t heal. I know enough sports men and women that have crippling career ending injuries in the ring never mind street fights.