Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML
Today, I bought a top, along with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML
Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
Tell her it was a science experiment where you filled a lubed condom up with whipped cream and saw how long it took for it to explode in a microwave.
Jaxro 6
Hahahaha, I wonder what there person at the check out was like when you had all those rung up. :P
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Comments (111)
Laurkins 0
Hey, atleast you're having safe sex. Your mom was young once and, perhaps, had her own share of the kinky kinky. She'll get over it. =)
nickk_v 0
LMFAAOOo
californiagirlx7 0
HAHAHAHA that sounds like a simple mistake that anyone can make so I agree that its a FML. And yes, Target does sell condoms and whipped cream. I didn't know about lube though.
Jime 0
to make it even weirder, when you saw her next you should have told her you were gay
aeris_fml 0
Gosh, what were you planning on doing with that shirt? But really, it's not your fault you didn't remember.
genius_man16 1
hey, at least you won't get your gf preggers (or won't get preggers yourself) whipped cream is kinky tho
gregthestrange 3
#20, I'm glad you figured out that caps lock is cruise control for cool
babydoll86_fml 0
Heh, ooook, maybe your Target is different to my Target, but they sure as hell don't sell condoms where I am. But yeah, I guess they're different in different countries. Heh. Sucks to be you!
noodleless 0
It's not THAT fml. Just an awkward moment that will be etched forever in your memory, but you'll get over it. :) Imagine how your kids would crack up when you tell them that one day!
caitlin2 0
Who buys a shirt and sex supplies in the same visit?