Intimacy: Make it stop

Make it stop

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 694

You deserved it 5 715

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 432

You deserved it 3 806

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 821

You deserved it 9 711

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 063

You deserved it 2 909

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 4 405

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 255

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 694

You deserved it 4 992

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 165

You deserved it 3 967

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 1 447

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 422

You deserved it 43 222

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 707

You deserved it 68 991

aback 4

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:46

Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"

TheCookieCrumb 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

Just in time for the big finale!

Comments

_musical_addict_ 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 7:33

#18- ******* brilliant. No pun intended. XP But on to the post, yes it is great the OP's parents are happy together, but no child needs to hear their parents going at it. It's just awkward, and just plain wrong.

spectre1992 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 7:43

OP?

tpt09 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 7:45

rofl

person1000003 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 8:01

Hauhsuahauah FYL sux

Gotphu 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 8:26

That wasn't your dad having sex with your mom. Next time, I'll try to be quieter.

lyndseylou 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 9:15

aah! FYL. i can TOTALLY relate though. i've heard my parents having sex more than once. just the other day i was in the bathroom (which is right by my parents room) and i heard my dad saying "ooohh do it again!"

_Noon_ 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 9:18

Blabla your parents love eachother be glad; bullshit. You heard them having sex, that is just gross. And btw, sex doesn't always mean they love eachother.