Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML
Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML
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Top comments
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
that's hot.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
I don't think that's her phone vibrating
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Comments (264)
joshp406 0
YDI for your friend being a lesbian
perdix 31
The friend isn't a lesbian just yet. She's just rubbing one out and, yes, straight girls **********. It's like the buttfuckers in prison aren't necessarily gay -- they are just sticking it into whatever hole is available, and there are just no female ones around.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Is that why Kiwis **** sheep?
goodnesspeople 1
Hahaaaaaaa! so you're comparing girls ********** to men in prison having sex with one another?? So are you implying that girls only ********** because there's no boy (or girl) around to help us out? I like to think that some of my best orgasms have been from me, which would mean that at times, I'd rather go "to town on myself" then mess around with someone. So you're comparison is flawed at best (and a bit sexist at worst).
Trollz4daLULZ 2
You fail for thinking he was serious...
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Shit, hit the submit button too soon. ANYWAY, you also fail for your terrible grammar, syntax, and diction.
imababeee 0
what's wrong with lesbians ?
EvilDave 13
#66: My g/f is in jail and a lot of the girls in jail with her are "gay for the stay". We are talking jail (weeks or months of confinement) not prison (years of confinement)
perdix 31
No, #66, goodnesspeople, I was comparing the prison sex to the two girls engaging in lesbian acts while on the camping trip. I was suggesting that in certain contexts, what you do at the moment doesn't determine your long-term sexual orientation. Congrats on being able to diddle yourself so well. That could always cum in hand-y.
Rwoem13 0
diction? they're not talking smart ass. they're typing. besides from that, it's FML not an English exam. get a grip.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
"Diction" means word choice and clarity of presentation, so it works whether writing, typing, or speaking. Try again.
RedPillSucks 33
Damn. I thought it had something to do with dicks.... I'm gonna return all my dictionaries.
emilyk123 0
40 u r a j-wow wana b
habeeboburky94 0
Am I the only one who had the song " birthday sex " pop in mind when I heard this?
swimchic007 0
Haha I did too!
bobateme 0
In a word, no.
bobateme 0
In a word, no.
Brighton_Goose 0
having sex whilst camping is f***ing in tents!
shortie1024 0
haha it took me like two minutes to get that
Soccerstudd15 0
40 you're gorgeous!
Fici 0
that's hot thAt your friend was doing that
ilovelife_01 0
Awkaward!
Acrsthunvrs 1
you just made me laugh really effin hard with the rhinosaurus joke.
JayJayAttackAtta 5
OP are you a guy? Because if you are and you didn't join your friend, you're either gay or a loser
SpaceMannn 0
I sure hope you went with your friend, because you do know you don't have to stay and hear the moanings of the night.