Today, I went to a chiropractor and got a membership just because I was desperate to be touched by a man after being single for 3 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
Why not a massage therapist?
Charlie Given 28
😒Trust me I feel your pain, other than hugging my kid's(single dad) or occasionally being touched by a doctor or physical therapist it's been about 8 years since I've had any human contact. And it isn't like I've haven't been trying but most off the single woman in my area seem to only be interested in partying or **** buddies.
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Comments (5)
cacheson 42
Why not a massage therapist?
Yudith 28
Great! You went to the real licensed back doctor and not the osteopath. I'm sure his beautiful strong hands will cure your back pain in no time.
RichardPencil 32
Too bad Larry Nasser is in jail. You'd probably pay extra for the "treatments" that got him in trouble with everyone else.
Charlie Given 28
😒Trust me I feel your pain, other than hugging my kid's(single dad) or occasionally being touched by a doctor or physical therapist it's been about 8 years since I've had any human contact. And it isn't like I've haven't been trying but most off the single woman in my area seem to only be interested in partying or **** buddies.
Mike Baird 5
Maybe give men a shot? it is 2021 after all
Marcella1016 32
Maybe start with a **** buddy just to get the “human contact”? Who knows, maybe casual dating can turn into something more! It happens.
Charlie Given 28
O trust me I've tried to get friends with benefits. but in my area it seems like most of the women are either drunks , addicts, crazy, prostitutes and sex addicts.And the few that weren't the moment they find out I'm a single dad or that one of my children and me have Minor health issues I'm ghosted. And I can't leave the area do to custody restrictions with Friend of the Court. I'm not allowed to be more than 99 miles away from where their mother lives even though I have the children most of the time.
Wadlaen 24
Whatever rocks your boat!😅 No, but I all seriousness, I wish you all the best!