Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I've been trying to train the cats not to sleep on the bed, which is hard because they all adore my husband. I woke up in the middle of the night to him sleeping on his stomach and all three lying on him, staring daggers at me. FML
Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I went to bed, falling asleep quickly; however, my cat decided to show up and lay on top of me, making me so uncomfortably hot and sweaty that my body immediately woke me up so I wouldn't die of a heat stroke. It's fucking 1:00 AM. He NEVER sleeps with me. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
You can get a cat out of your bed without kicking it, you know. Just lift it up and put it on the ground. Or lift it up and put it on a more convenient place on your bed. It'll most likely just continue sleeping.
Chunchunchun 3
I never kick my cat off my bed no matter how uncomfortable it is :)
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Comments (117)
archer79 0
how is this fml worthy? lame
Forte42 0
Lol, a little while back my cat got hit by a car, tried to make it back to our house and died on the driveway. So when the neighbor's kid was over the next day she asked where our cat was. I showed her the blood stain. The look on her face was PRICELESS, AND I don't have to deal with that damn cat anymore. Lol, you have a problem with your cat? Just let it out the front door. LMAO
zippit09 0
LMAO THATS LIKE SO FUNNY ZOMG ROFLOL!!!!!
lazydawg 0
ydi for having a cat
Arisakentaro 0
hah don't worry I've held my pee in for over an hour just cuz my kitten was sleeping on my lap xD and I've had the same problem too
skippy182 0
u lot are stupid, she/he is tryin to win an argument :P
delicatedarkness 0
who the **** cares, really? animals are just as fickle as humans. kick the cat off the bed.
VladAlex 0
move it?
Randomnity 4
Some things have pretty CATastrophic consequences.
bab3yb00 3
uhm...is the cat gonna tell on you?
bagleface 6
Cat's suck anyway