Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
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Top comments
mrahhhhh 21
You're her territory. She will protect you from other little kids who try to pee on you. Barking is completely normal and should be expected from her.
Selena_is_back 7
nice
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Comments (108)
DocBastard 40
If you teach middle school, this is quite disturbing.
mrahhhhh 21
****, I wish I got nap time in middle school.
Fortuitous 0
No, Doc, if she taught middle school, she would get peed on because she thought a girl was a boy.
DocBastard 40
Forty, you're mixing FMLs now and blowing my mind a little.
Fortuitous 0
Introduce bedlam into order, and everything becomes perfect. :D No, you are the one who is doing the mind-bending.
LemonStarship 5
What's the problem? Pee back on her...
abc1231 2
ok now R. Kelly...
gabbiechaoss 5
I'm kind of confused about something....was she just a random child? Or were you babysitting or what??
chriswest54 0
who gives a shit, she peed on the person, thats what matters
SadinSherman 16
I was thinking maybe she runs a daycare or is a Kindergarten or Pre-K teacher.
hunterg 0
that sucks. I hate when small children cry. the pee just happened to happen the same time. ultra sad face. :(((((((((
catatonicsleep 17
maybe the kid was crying because she really had to pee...
boopityboppity 11
That's not an ultra-sad face. It's some sort of alien creature with ten mouths, all frowning. It's got to be Smilin' Bob's evil brother.
jocelyng_fml 0
68 that was an epic win!!!
TempestRain 0
haha. alien it is!!!
Draminicaus 0
I thought it was a sad face with more chins than Jabba the Hut. Alien creature, it is.
mdog1114 0
lolzz
mrahhhhh 21
You're her territory. She will protect you from other little kids who try to pee on you. Barking is completely normal and should be expected from her.
riseofabreakings 0
I laughed really hard at this comment
RachelBerry_fml 5
this story has local emmy written all over it :)
chriswest54 0
it could have been a lot worst. She could have peed on your face
lovinit5683 0
She just saying she cares enough to pee on you!!!
GaryBusey1121 0
nothing say I care for you like a golden shower.
Brianisabamf 3
Hi, How you doin? lol
mordhorst95 0
oh wow. a dog did that 2 me once
jocelyng_fml 0
you read to your dog?
inig0m0nt0ya 0
you don't?