A real friend never lets you go By Lewis - 08/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris Friendship is no joke I agree, your life sucks 291 You deserved it 81 Share Tweet Share
Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 119
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 583 You deserved it 3 397
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 810 You deserved it 2 790
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 129 You deserved it 3 534
Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 302 You deserved it 2 774
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 001 You deserved it 315
Today, my boyfriend's mother informed me that when I visit him next month, he is planning to propose. We have a long-distance relationship and I've been thinking of breaking it off. His friends and family are involved with the proposal he planned. They're all going to hate me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 139 You deserved it 816
Today, after reading more FMLs than I'd care to count, I think I've finally realised that the world isn't made up up of mostly competent and intelligent people. FML I agree, your life sucks 702 You deserved it 176
Thats gotta hurt being pulled down by the hair.