Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML
Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML
Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
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Top comments
d4m4s74 12
Hey, it's a nice story to tell his friends when he's older.
Typicall 21
Well isn't that cute ...
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Comments (84)
MikaykayUnicorn 36
I find it weird that a kid was suspended for 'molding his poptart into a gun' and kids were offered something like THERAPY for the 'incident. ' Yet, I doubt your son got suspended for.saying something that could be picked up by other kids. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
hynriech_lord 8
You don't let him watch the kid anymore do you
justme_79 14
At least he used it in context
megstiel 16
Mhmm I love **** nomnomnomnom.
LONERANGER44 11
Breaking Bad is an amazing show. Be proud.
Loon007ninja 1
This get funnier the more I read it.
thejokerwins18 2
At least your son has a good taste in tv shows.
jimmywithsalt 19
I'd be thankful your husband wasn't making him watch some POS reality show. Your son is being exposed to good television at least..
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
What a funny story to tell when he's older. XD I hope you explained to him the meaning of what he said, though and why it isn't okay instead of just punishing him and yelling at your husband.
dravvy 7
Could be worse, could have been in a Christian school. My niece went Madea on her teacher and yeah dad an I got in trouble letting her watch Madea xD